Sempiternal
by Fangirl Jessums
Summary: Based on a dream I had... (Oh, boy, here we go...) ... Neil comes back from Gaia. He doesn't really like what he finds. (JaNeil, R/J/N, RyaNeil, Ryan/Jane)
1. Waking Up

A/N- I know the title isn't the best… It's 1:30 AM, I did the best I could, all right?!?!  
---  
  
Sempiternal  
  
"If you need to leave the world you live in  
Lay your head down and stay a while  
Though you may not remember dreaming  
Something waits for you to breathe again"  
-Imaginary, Evanescence  
  
He was freezing. But then, it was the middle of December, right? That was normal. He tried to roll over, but his body didn't cooperate as fast as he liked, so he opened his eyes. The ceiling was unfamiliar, and too bright to be the room he had to bunk with Jane in: If he had somehow gotten from his bed on the bottom to her bed on the top and fallen asleep, it'd be a dark brown he was staring at, not hospital white. He pushed himself up, somehow got his body to work, and slid off of the table. Unfortunately, though his upper half had been able to slide him off of the metal table, his legs still didn't want to walk, and he fell down next to the uncomfortable thing. A moment passed, and he finished resting, pushing himself quickly to his feet.  
And he wished he never did when he saw the rest of his squad lying on matching tables in a clean row, each parallel to each other with a small space in between. And he'd been right next to Jane. He hobbled over slowly, studying the girl's face. She looked younger, more innocent, without the "try me" look pasted on her face. He touched her face hesitantly, flinching and pulling his hand back when he discovered she was cold. He put his head on her chest, listening for a heartbeat, and, when none was found, praying for her to do something. To smack him, to get up and kick his ass, question what the fuck he thought he was doing. He checked her pulse point slowly, as a last resort.  
He desperately wished he had more resorts to try on the dead girl. The sound of a door opening behind him filled the room, and he shot up, turning to face the people entering, ready to protect his lost friends. And instead of the evil scientists he'd expected, instead there were two doctors: One male, one female, the latter young, his age, and the former much older. Both of them were familiar.  
"Neil?" Aki blinked her eyes, puffy and red as if she had been crying. Neil couldn't blame her; she'd had that thing with the Captain, right? And he felt like crying too at the moment. The only thing stopping him was the need to find out what was going on.  
"What..." His voice cracked; from not being used or from trying to control his emotions, he didn't know or care. "What's going on?"  
"I don't... I... you're..." Aki broke off, and Sid had to continue for her.  
"Last time we saw you, Corporal, you were dead." Memories flashed through his head so quickly it made him dizzy. A tugging in his chest he could almost still feel, a look on Jane's face he thought he'd never forget. Hurt. Guilt. Sadness mixed with disbelief.  
"A-and what about them?" The two shared a knowing look, and the girl placed her hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off quickly, trying to move further away but being stopped by Jane's table. He could've retreated around it, but that would be cowardly and leave Jane open to harm. He wondered what he was talking about for a moment: Jane was dead and Aki was on his side, right? The brunette lowered her eyes, then looked over at the still woman behind him.   
"They were all really brave, Neil." His stomach sank. They had all died heroes' deaths, probably, in the midst of a battle for the last spirit, gone very valiantly in the face of danger... And how had he died? Attempting to flirt with a woman who didn't even look at him that way. Absentmindedly, he pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. He'd shamed them all, most likely. Someone touched his shoulder as he looked at Jane, closing his eyes. "We're getting to New Jersey in a short while..." It was Aki, and he nodded slowly. He didn't care, but did it respectfully anyway, just to acknowledge her. He ran his fingers along Jane's arm quietly, waiting until the door closed to put his head down on the table and cry for his friends and love.  
  
~~  
She looked innocent. Peaceful. She was at peace. That was the only thing keeping Neil from breaking down. No one could explain why he was back and Jane Proudfoot was still dead. Aki had hoped, at first, they would all return in a few days' time: They hadn't died with great gaps of time in between, but he'd been back for five days already. And he was still alone. He felt unbearably guilty, for Aki, letting her down... for Jane, when he learned how she'd died, and for his Captain and Sergeant. He'd been acting like a child, and if he could've been serious for that one time, Jane would've been with him and they could've helped the others.  
The more he told himself it was his fault; the more it became the truth to him. He was the reason the rest of his squad was dead. He hung his head, leaning over to kiss Jane's forehead before walking out, with Aki following. A sigh came from the casket, but no one heard it, since the room was empty.  
"Neil, please tell me you didn't just kiss me on the forehead." The girl let silence fill the room for a few minutes, and then opened her eyes. "... What… the fuck..." She sat up quickly, climbing out of the box and backing away from it quickly. A chill ran through her spine, and she looked around nervously. No. She was dead. Neil was too; she'd seen... she'd seen him die... She knew she was dead herself, what was going on? She hurried out of the room, past other doors and out the exit. Aki stood there as a car drove off, and Jane walked up behind her, tapping her shoulder. She'd never really cared for the doctor, not at all, really. Of course, she'd never admit the true reason why, and would only stay with the fail-safe, "She's an idiot". No reaction came from the girl, and she tapped her again, annoyed. Aki turned, blinked, and a look of surprise appeared on her face, her mouth moving silently, resembling a fish out of water. A second later she took off running.   
"Oh great, that was a big help." A quick glance in the side view mirror of a car told Jane she looked fine. She sighed. Now she had no idea where anyone else was. She walked slowly around town, spotting a familiar car outside of a restaurant. Her eyes narrowed as she studied the plates, design, and color of the car carefully before she decided that it was the car she'd seen driving off while Aki had stood there stupidly. Glancing in the window, it was easy to spot anyone familiar; a clock on the wall told her it was 8:30 at night, and there were only two people inhabiting the place.   
One was Neil. Jane started for the door, and then froze, heading around a back way. If Aki had run off screaming like an imbecile, she wouldn't put it past Neil to do the same. She slipped into the kitchen, looking around for anything that could help her cloak her identity.  
What she was presented with was the most repulsive uniform she had ever seen. It was purple and teal, and reminded her of all those stereotypical television shows that had to do with waitresses at greasy spoon diners. She scowled, but slipped into the employee bathroom, pulling the outfit on, along with a pair of white sneakers. She tied her hair up and walked out, dropping the dress clothes she'd been in from her… whatever… and continuing on her way, grabbing a menu and a notepad casually, walking out slowly towards Neil, who was seated alone towards the back, staring at a cup of coffee. She swiftly ignored the request for water from the shady woman with black hair, who was smoking a cigarette. Of course, even if Jane hadn't seen her staring at Neil, she still wouldn't have bothered.   
"Bitch." She heard muttered at her, and smirked, but didn't stop as she walked up to Neil's table. He didn't look up, and it frustrated her that he didn't recognize her presence. She glanced in the mug he had in his hand. It was filled to the top.  
"Wanna refill?" She asked, trying to sound like a normal waitress, chipper and ready to serve, and not like a very disturbed and confused Corporal who had just been brought back from the dead. He shook his head, and she got even more frustrated. "You want anything else?" Another shake of the head, and she crossed her arms over her chest, annoyed. "How 'bout the check?" She said nastily, and he looked up at once, blinking a few times.  
"Jane? … Jane!" A smile broke out on his face and he jumped up, putting his hands on her arms, studying her. "You're… a waitress?" She smirked at his confused glance.  
"Long story."  
"You're alive!" He yelled happily, and Shady Woman looked up at the two, scowling. He had her at arm's length, his hands still on her shoulders, but pulled her in and hugged her tightly. A moment passed, and she put her arms around him gently as he buried his face in her neck, still clinging to her. "They were gonna bury you…" He said.  
"Oh, that's what the big box was for than. I was wondering." She said to try and get a cheerful reaction out of him. He looked up quickly, beaming at her.  
"Serge! Serge and the Captain!"  
"What about 'em? Where are they, anyway, I thought the Captain'd be hanging around that doctor…" She trailed off when he looked down, upset again. "…What?"  
"Jane, they died too…" She fell into a respectful silence, and he wondered if her head was bowed because she was upset or because she was trying to honor them. "But it's okay! Because you're back, and I'm back, so they're bound to come back sooner or later!" He smiled softly at her, hugging her again. She returned the embrace, finally sensing how hard it had been for him.  
"Come on, Neil, let's get out of here." She whispered to him, painfully aware that Shady Woman wanted some damn water, and looked ready to exchange it with blood. Neil nodded, throwing some money down on the table and walking out with her, grabbing her hand happily. She didn't pull away, and they walked in silence over to his car. He helped her in, to her surprise, and closed her door before walking around to his side and getting in himself. He drove them back to the hotel he was residing at, taking the elevator upstairs with her and giving her another amused glance. She attempted a glare, crossing her arms over her chest. "What?"  
"I have time for the long story now." He grinned stupidly, and she rolled her eyes, but couldn't hide a small smile. He walked out of the car when the door opened, and she followed. He opened the door to his room, and they walked in, Jane closing the door behind her. He turned to face her, ready to say something, when he stopped himself. Instead, he went through a drawer and produced some of her clothes, handing a neatly folded pile to her. She looked at him, almost urging him to say what had been about to jump off of his tongue a moment ago. Instead, she got, "You should get cleaned up, I don't trust that uniform." He said.   
Disappointment flooded over her, and she nodded a little, heading towards the visible bathroom. He stopped her a second later, just by calling her a name she would normally kill him for. "Janie?" She raised her eyebrows, turning to face him, and he walked up to her, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and touching the side of her face, a smile appearing on his face after he verified that she was there, in front of him. "I missed you." She smiled at him.  
"Missed you too, Neily." A goofy grin formed on his face, and a half grin on hers as she walked to the bathroom and got cleaned up. He sat down on the bed, and she turned on the shower, staring in the sink as a fog built around her. Their eyes were both filled with tears, and their words were the same:  
"No... I *really* missed you."  
---  
End Chapter One (?)  
  
... Review? 


	2. Almost

A/N- Welcome to Sempiternal, chapter two...   
... If you are homophobic or not a Ryan/Jane/Neil shipper, you might be slightly irked by a line or two in this.  
... Actually, if you're the latter, nevermind. Read this, then go read Ovo's The World Can't Compare. Then you might wanna read the fifth chapter of Letters. Maybe we'll convert you. 3  
  
Dedicated to: Terra, because God knows I'd've dropped out of the TSW scene long ago if she didn't keep me writing. MegMeg, 'Lysia, Cat, Kate, and... ... yep, I think that's about it.   
  
A small shout to Digital Damita, as well, 'cause... she like... thinks I'm this good writer, or something... (Weirdo... ;P lol)  
---  
Sempiternal   
  
"Love is a reason for living, a reason for dying,  
Love is everything"  
-Everything, The Juliana Theory  
  
She exited the bathroom fifteen minutes later, her hair still damp from the shower. She was dressed rather sloppily for a Proudfoot. Her tank top was messily tossed on over unusually baggy pants that were normally tucked away in boots up to her knees, but today her feet were bare as she scuffled on out of the bathroom. As she dragged her feet childishly, she grinned at the idea of shocking Neil, just for the fun of it. But she froze halfway to the bed, the grin fading as she saw Neil there, staring at the ceiling, still as stone. Her heart pounded in her ears.  
"Neil?" She asked, worried. He blinked, sitting up.  
"Yeah?" The woman shrugged, feeling foolish. What did she think, he'd died in the time it took for her to freshen up?   
"... Never mind."  
"So, um, you hungry?" Jane shook her head.  
"Not really... ... More tired than anything, believe it or not." She said. He nodded.  
"Um, well, you can have the bed, I'll, just, uh..." Neil's eyes moved around the room, landing on her. She shrugged in response, and his mind reeled at her sudden nonchalance and innocence.  
"We're not kindergarteners, Neil. I think we can handle sleeping in the same bed. Just, stay on your side." She said slowly, contemplating her words before they escaped her mouth. He nodded, and they climbed into opposite sides of the bed, backs to each other and an unfamiliar empty space in between them as they closed their eyes. Just as he was starting to drift off into a sleep, he heard her. " 'Night, Neil." He mumbled goodnight to her, but doubted they formed real words and not inaudible, lapping mumbles. Eventually, they both fell into a peaceful sleep.  
---  
When morning came, however, they weren't abiding by Jane's simple rule. Neil had her in his arms, and she'd curled into his embrace sometime between the nine hours they'd spent asleep. The way they were laying, though, would make it seem to anyone that they were still asleep, though both were awake. Whether the other knew that, however, was beyond them. Finally, Jane moved enough to make him realize her consciousness.  
"Morning." He offered cheerily.  
"Morning." She returned quietly. They studied each other thoroughly, as if trying to verify the other's existence. He moved her hair from her face, and the blissful world they'd locked themselves away in got just a little brighter as unsaid words hung heavily in the air around them.   
And the one most important to them seemed to be coming closer and closer to happening, as they lingered there. His head moved towards hers, and she moved to meet him half way.   
Their lips barely met for the first time since they'd returned when the phone rang. He mentally cursed his luck, turning his back to the bed as he sat up and picked up the phone.  
"Hello?" he asked.  
"Neil! It's me... Where were you all night?" Aki Ross' voice greeted him.  
"Um. Sleeping?" He said, as if she should have known.   
"Well, listen - everything's fine, Jane's back!"  
"I know." He stated.  
"You do? She's there? How is she?" Aki interrogated him.  
"Yes, yes, and fine." Neil sighed, getting bored with the caller and the call.  
"I hope you're not allowing her to run around."  
"She's a grown woman, I'm not gonna stop her, I don't have the right."  
"She's also been proclaimed dead. She can't be walking around in public until we fix that." The phone received a glare.  
"Then get to work fixing it." He said angrily, but caught himself and sighed. "Please? Doctor?" She laughed.  
"Alright, but *please* keep an eye on Jane?" Aki asked.  
"Yeah, sure." He promised, hanging up the phone a moment later. He turned to face Jane slowly, finding the bed empty. He jumped to his feet, glancing around the room. 'Great job, Neil, you lost Jane already.' He thought to himself, searching around for her. He found her in the main room, staring out the window. Cautiously, he walked up behind her, moving his arms around her. She leaned into him after a moment.  
"It's a nice day out." She said casually, but her tone and the look on her face was one of awe and wonder at the one thing she'd longed to see her whole life, but never imagined she would.  
"Beautiful." He agreed. "Speaking of which, you're confined to the apartment until Aki finds a way to change your status." She smirked.  
"So technically I'm still dead."  
"Technically, I guess? You're breathing…"  
"You're the only one that notices."  
"So? We'll fix it." He assured her. She sighed, not in defeat, but rather to change the subject. "Let's get breakfast, okay?" He asked quickly. She nodded, following him to the small kitchenette while he searched for food.  
~  
A week passed, and their dear Sergeant hadn't returned from the other world. The brighter news was, Jane could walk around again. Which she was taking full advantage of at the moment, as she knelt before Ryan's grave. She kissed her fingertips, touching the tombstone.  
"C'mon, Ryan, you can make it back…" She whispered, fully aware that Neil was only about ten feet behind her. "… we need you back." She stood slowly, walking back to Neil. He slipped his arm around her as they walked off.  
~  
Ryan Whittaker gasped, opening his eyes. It was dark and musty around him, not to mention extremely hard to breathe. He barely heard Jane's voice, muffled and far away.   
"C'mon, Ryan, you can make it back… we need you back." Back? Back where? Memories flashed quickly. Neil dying. Jane dying. Killing the phantom, followed by his own death. He moved his arm, but it was stopped. His hands moved urgently when he found himself trapped, starting to gasp for air as he fought to calm himself, managing to crack the casket open, kicking and digging at the recently disturbed ground.   
~  
Neil glanced back, his sad eyes widening when he saw the ground moving. "Holy sh-"  
"What?" Jane cut him off, turning. "…Jesus…" She started towards it, running with Neil. Neil slid to a stop next to it, reaching Ryan first as the man broke through the soil. Neil grabbed the older man's hand and helped tug him out. Ryan coughed, sitting next to Neil.  
"Glad to see you two." He gasped out.  
"Aren't you always?" Neil grinned nervously, unnerved by the whole situation. He listened to Ryan's heavy breathing, and after a moment, decided to ask, "Ya need mouth-at-mouth, 'something, Ry?" Jane ignored the flirtatious comment, embracing the colored man, who hugged her back.  
"You two have any idea what's going on?" He managed.  
"Not really, we kinda, just… came back to life." Neil replied, dusting off his friend, Jane still clinging to his arm. He was surprised he wasn't jealous, but then, the three had always been close, cared for each other in ways no one could even try to understand, let alone try to rival the feelings they all shared, even if Jane acted as stoical as she did in public. And therefore, they were reunited, a complete heart, and near- complete squadron. The sun peeked from behind a cloud, and once more, there was hope.  
~  
*grumbles* … chapter sucked… 


End file.
